It’s National Adoption Week (16th-22nd October 2023) which holds a special place in our hearts here at Trident Marketing. This week aims to improve the level of awareness about adoption by sharing real-life stories. The campaign, in turn, aims to find homes for children awaiting adoption.
Our very own Victoria and Carl have recently been through the adoption process, and they are now the proud parents of an amazing three year-old girl. We caught up with them so they could share their story.
What Made Us Want To Adopt?
We’ve always wanted to adopt, having been part of many positive adoption experiences. Carl’s dad was adopted, a best friend’s brother was adopted… it’s something very familiar to us.
We have a son and there is often pressure after your first child – “When are you having another?” – but we didn’t feel that pressure at all. During lockdown, however, adoption was on our minds a lot. We decided to start the process in December 2020.
The Adoption Process Can Be Frustrating
There’s no way of sugar-coating it – the adoption process is longwinded and frustrating. It’s also emotionally up-and-down. You could have a really full-on week with lots of ‘adoption homework’, then you might not hear anything for weeks.
There are different stages and various requirements, from having your health and finances checked to working in a nursery to demonstrate your capability.
We were incredibly lucky that we already had a son and were coming from a happy and secure place, not a place of loss. We can’t imagine how much more difficult it would be for people dealing with infertility or baby loss.
However, the end result outweighed any of the frustration for us. The most important lessons we learned?
- Be respectful of the process, even if you don’t understand the process
- It takes as long as it takes
- There is a process for a reason
The Day We Met Our Daughter
Our adoption approval took 11 months, it was another nine months before we were matched with our daughter, then we had to wait another five months until we actually met her for the first time.
But that moment was amazing; like something out of a film. She ran up to us with the biggest grin on her face and shouted “Mummy!” That was thanks to her incredible foster parents, who she’d been with since birth.
We got to send a toy and a book beforehand, showing pictures of us, our son and our parents, plus our house and her new bedroom. We were told to wear the exact same outfits from the pictures for that recognition, and it clearly worked.
We stayed in a nearby Airbnb for a couple of weeks, so we could build upon the amount of time we spent with her each day, giving her the opportunity to meet her brother too. Then we drove her home, which was incredibly surreal.
Our Proudest Moments So Far
Naturally, we wondered whether we would love our daughter as much as our biological son. But, hand on heart, we truly do.
We’re most proud of the bond our children share. They idolise each other, argue with each other… just as siblings should. We’re also proud that she’s adopted. And of how our daughter openly talks about being adopted – she says that her “tummy mummy” couldn’t look after her, but we can.
Don’t be fooled, it’s not all perfect. There have been difficult weeks, but that’s us adapting to each other. Every child is different with different backgrounds, and our daughter already had a routine with her foster parents for two and a half years, which we had to navigate.
The ultimate goal is to make sure our daughter is a kind, happy human – that’s all we want.
Are you looking to adopt? Visit the Adoption UK website to find out more.